Do you find that fear and worry still creep into your thoughts and prevent you from taking action? You’re definitely not alone. So many people’s minds play the same tapes, over and over again, and it prevents them from moving forward with their businesses to create a life they really love.
If you want to be successful, you need to stop giving your fears and worries so much power!
The more you allow them to take over, the more you play the victim and act like you aren’t capable and don’t have choices, the less likely you are to achieve your goals…
…which is why, in this blog post, I’m going to be unpacking the concepts of fear and worry, how they show up, how they don’t serve you, and what you can do to leave them in the past and take the action necessary to get (and stay) ahead of the curve!
Let’s dive in…
What worry really is
As I share in this post here on what did NOT get me to 7 figures, at the beginning of building my business, I worried about what people would think, how I’d make money; if anyone would actually buy what I was selling; how I’d get to where I wanted to be. This is normal – FYI – and I’d imagine you’ve had similar worries. In fact, most of us are addicted to worry.
When we go deep into the subconscious mind, we learn that worry stems from what our parents taught us, or from a specific past experience. As you were growing up, you probably did have something to worry about; but now, your reality isn’t the same.
The mind will pull from the ‘previous experiences library’ to predict the future. It wants you to stay safe (stuck) so it brings up these worries based on past experiences in the hope of deterring you from moving forward…
I’m proud to say that, after decades of being a chronic worrier, I’ve made my peace with worry. In fact, there was one moment a few years ago when I woke up and realized that I was fully done. Something shifted inside me, and I started to think about the actual ROI (return on investment) all that worry was making me. I couldn’t come up with one. single. thing. My worry caused me nothing but stress, backaches, sleepless nights, fights with my husband, James – literally nothing positive.
In fact, worry is like a nail in a tire, and you are the tire. It starts as a small hole that gets bigger and bigger over time. More and more worries result in more and more holes, and, eventually, you’re left flat and non-functioning. You literally deflate as worry sucks all your energy… and you don’t need me to tell you that if you want to scale your company to 6, 7, 8 figures, you’re going to want plenty of energy in reserve.
You can also think about yourself as a bucket filled with water if the tire analogy doesn’t resonate. In this one, you have a certain amount of water (energy) available to you. Every worry you have pierces a hole in the bucket, and the energy pours out until there’s nothing left at all.
The sad (but also exciting) truth is that most of our worries never actually happen. Can you imagine what you would achieve if you didn’t expend so much energy on yours? Think about what you could do or create with that energy instead!
Fear blocks action, and you need that for success…
I want you to understand that there’s a chance your dreams will become pipe dreams if you’re not taking action toward them.
If you look up the word ‘pipe dream’ in Urban Dictionary you’ll see this definition: ‘A vain dream that will never ever happen, given the harsh reality of life.’
Think about it like this: all the money mindset work is great (read this post on why it’s essential to your success), all the goal-setting is admirable, but if you don’t take the steps to actually bring in the money, you’re probably never going to make millions (or if you’re at the multi-7 figure mark already – billions). It may seem obvious to say this, but one of my biggest secrets to success is that I take more action than anyone I know. I show up – even when the fear is there (and it is there!).
I didn’t quite know the direction my business was headed in the beginning – I was still figuring out. But I knew I could help people, and I realized early on that the only way I would reach them is to keep putting myself out there. I showed up, persistently, from the get-go. I made my presence known. I knew I needed to show everyone – myself, my audience, the Universe – that I was in this for the long haul. And as a result of my persistence, I’ve not only made a difference, I’ve gone the distance. The two things I wanted to achieve.
What’s more, I haven’t just shown up persistently since 2014, I’ve shown up CONSISTENTLY. This is something people who’ve followed me from the beginning have told me they admire and value. I’ve written a newsletter every week since I started – that’s 8 years’ worth of emails. I remember hearing Marie Forleo say that unless the Internet is dead or she’s dead, her followers are going to hear from her every Tuesday! What if you showed up like that? How would things change? The truth is, you can’t show up 50% of the time and expect to find yourself in the top percentile of entrepreneurs, getting massive results. I understood that as deeply nearly a decade ago as I do now.
To add to this, since starting my business, every time I’ve had a spare moment, e.g. when sitting in a nail or hair salon, I’ve used the time to finish tasks for my company. Checking in with team members, responding to clients, working on my website – you name it, I’ve done it in a salon – or I’ve gone deeper with my personal development game by reading or listening to audios. Every single appointment, the staff ask me if I want a magazine, and every single time I say, ‘No thanks: I’ve brought my computer’ or ‘No thanks: I’ve brought my book.’
Believe me, I love reading People magazine as much as the next girl, but while others are reading it, I’m thinking about how I can appear in it. Those epic 3–4 hour hair appointments (you blondes can relate to this!) are as much about creating a transformation from the inside out for me as they are the outside in.
‘So… if fear blocks action, how does it show up?’, you might be wondering? I’d argue that it shows up in the form of procrastinating (which contains another couple of Ps) and it shows up in the form of dabbling. Let me explain…
There will be times when you won’t want to take action because you simply don’t ‘feel like it. In fact, there will be days when every fiber of your being will tell you to stay curled up in your bed and to put off until tomorrow that next step toward your dreams. But here’s the thing…
Although you won’t be overcome with magical waves of inspiration every day, and although you won’t necessarily feel ‘in the mood’ to invest time and energy into your biz, one of the MAIN reasons people put things off is because of FEARS they have around taking action.
- They’ll say they’ll show up on social tomorrow (because they fear being seen)
- They’ll say they’ll join the mastermind next year (because they’re afraid they won’t make their money back)
- They’ll say they’ll pivot their business next year (because they’re scared they won’t be able to do so profitably/cover the costs)
The examples are endless, but I give them because I often find that when people say they can’t be bothered or words to that effect… what they usually mean is that they’re frightened. Sometimes it’s conscious, other times it’s not, but I can hand on heart say that I haven’t worked with a single woman who hasn’t let fear or worry hold them back from doing necessary work.
Procrastination doesn’t just look like wanting to lie in bed all day though or to lay in front of the television on the couch. Perfectionism is a form of procrastination, I’d argue, and so too is PROCURING (a.k.a. Putting a bunch of effort into acquiring things like qualifications and certifications until you feel ‘ready’ to go all-in)…
As a driven woman, you may be tempted to put off taking any action until you feel like you have everything together. If that resonates, know that it’s natural. But as someone once said to me, perfectionism is just like procrastination, but in a cuter outfit.
Our ego tells us that if we don’t have everything figured out, it must mean we’re not ready. This is something I hear constantly from my clients. They want everything to be perfect before they start – the perfect time, the perfect amount of money in their bank account, the perfect strategy for success. But there are two issues here:
- Perfect doesn’t exist. Just as when you plan to have a baby or move home, there’s never a perfect time.
- The thought that one of those perfect moments exists means we’re left waiting and never actually get those qualifications, or take the action needed to move toward our goals.
The reality is that everyone who’s amazing at something was once a total beginner at it, and the only reason they’re now skilled and rockin’ it is because they didn’t wait on perfection –they took action and learned and grew as they went along.
My motto is: If it’s in your heart, you’re ready to start. Period.
No one starts out being incredible at something or having everything ‘together’ from the get-go. The people who go on to become masters and pros don’t keep waiting: they feel the fear (of failure, of success, of whatever) and do it anyway. They fumble their way through.
As I share in this blog, my own quest for perfection has only ever given me anxiety, upset, overeating, and even back pain. On the other hand, having high standards but moving forward despite things not being perfect, has given me oh so many positives: the chance to work with and affect extraordinary women around the world; getting my brand and message out there; celebrating five- and six-figure months; taking trips around the world; having the support of an incredible team; forming amazing friendships, and getting to collaborate with spectacular mentors.
See what I mean?
Although letting go of perfect is still a work in progress for me, I know now that I’m never going to get to where I want to go, or be happy along the journey, if I’m always going for perfect. So what about you?
- Are you waiting until the timing is ‘perfect’ before you start your dream business?
- Are you waiting to step on stage until you have that ‘perfect message?
- Are you stalling going for that promotion until you’re ‘perfectly’ qualified?
- Are you still trying to do everything yourself ‘perfectly’ instead of outsourcing it?
How about taking imperfect action instead? How about deciding that you know enough, are and are skilled enough, are talented enough, are experienced enough, are attractive enough, are likable enough? Because it’s true – you are enough. You are perfect the way you are, and the world needs you out there today.
A few years ago, one of my clients told me that she didn’t even design her wedding flower arrangements without first getting the qualification to do so. I had to laugh, but there’s another part of me that finds it so sad that we’re holding ourselves back because we don’t feel ready or aren’t yet qualified.
You aren’t to blame for this.
We were taught that we need a piece of paper to do anything grand, but unless you’re planning to become one of the world’s top surgeons, I want you to really evaluate what you do truly need to make your dreams a reality. Is it a degree? Or is that just the fear talking?
You have to learn how to differentiate between waiting because you’re delaying and waiting because it truly isn’t the right time.
You may need and want more experience in order to reach your dreams, and you may be right in thinking it will help your mission. However, I want you to give yourself permission to get started today, whether you have that under your belt or not. Because the truth is… experience is the best way to learn and the fastest path to the qualification you’re looking for and you can’t get that by procrastinating. And it may not come in the form of a degree or a piece of paper anyway.
What if you qualified yourself instead?
One of my clients recently shared that she was ‘so close to being committed’ to her goals. I asked her what that actually meant. (In my mind, it meant the same thing as not being committed.) You see, so often we fall into the trap of dabbling. We think that if we put a little bit of effort in, we won’t have to fully commit, and most of the time, showing up like that means fear is running the show. You’re worried about what will happen if you do go all-in:
- What if it doesn’t work out?
- Or what if it does? Sometimes that’s just as scary, right?
- What if people laugh at you or judge you?
- What if you do become wildly successful and lose all your friends and family because they think you’re too full of yourself and too obsessed with money?
Trust me, I’ve heard (and felt) it all.
But to reiterate, we can not allow our fears and worries to get the better of us and stop us from living our dreams, or to keep our dreams in pipe-dream status. That’s simply not the way.
For example, a few years ago, when I was still living in London, I had dinner with one of my good friends – she is very well known in the coaching industry and was in the midst of making some changes in her business and shifting direction.
We sat on a gorgeous terrace in London and she told me she was just going to ‘dip her toe in the water’ with her new program. My BS (bullshit) meter was at an all-time high on that day and was going off as she spoke.
I just looked at her with an expression that let her know she wasn’t fooling me.
‘What?’ she asked.
‘You’re ready now,’ I said.
She went quiet for a bit.
‘I guess I just wonder if I’m worthy.’
Are you being called toward something? Is your intuition telling you to take that step? Then you’re ready – scared or not!
Think about a baby learning to walk. It has no idea what it’s doing; it just starts. It follows its intuition to crawl and then stand up and then walk. And it isn’t perfect at all. It’s wobbly, it’s messy, there are tears. But there are also major triumphs. The world opens up for that baby. And that’s what’s possible for you.
As Iyanla Vanzant says in her book Trust, ‘we take out first breath outside of the womb because something within us trusts that the next breath will come with grace and ease. Babies do not think or talk themselves out of their needs; babies do not believe their needs are wrong.’
At what point do we stop trusting our instincts that are telling us that now is the time to act? And if you can’t hear that voice anymore, at what point did you let fear cover it up so it’s no longer audible?
Without action – without starting before you’re ready – there’s no chance for change. So as Stacey, one of my previous clients, says: JFDI. Just F*cking Do It.
- Are you happy with the money you’re making in your business?
- And are you satisfied with the money you’re taking home?
- Does your income afford you the luxury lifestyle you want to live?
- Are you able to pay any bill or buy anything you want with ease?
- Can you upgrade your flight from economy to first-class or your standard hotel room to the executive suite?
- Do you have the support you’re craving, in your business (with a dream team) or at home (for example from a nanny or a housekeeper?)
- Are you living a life based on your desires or are you constantly saying “I’d love to but…”
If your answer to any one of these questions is no, then I have a strong suspicion that you experience fear and worry around money, and need to release those feelings and rewrite the stories that are preventing you from accessing more…
Luckily, I’ve got just the thing to support you with that…
CLICK HERE to register for my FREE money mindset masterclass — and learn the 3 things that are standing in the way of your ability to make millions with ease and how to fix them FAST.
(FYI, these are the EXACT mindset shifts that helped me make a million in less than 18 months, and the ones I STILL use as someone consistently earning 7+ figures to EXPONENTIALLY grow my revenue year on year!)
As someone who’s been featured in Money, Business Insider, Entrepreneur, Success, Forbes, The Huffington Post, Inc., I know what I’m talking about — obviously — so if you don’t register for this FREE masterclass, you truly will be missing out.
In this masterclass:
- You’ll learn what thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are standing in the way of your financial success…
- What’s more, I’ll show you how to CORRECT that crappy cash conditioning you’ve inherited from other people, culturally and societally…
- As well as how to start THINKING like a millionaire, so you reclaim your power and prosperity…